Hi Reader,I'm back! This week's post is a reminder that self-differentiation is not about what we do but whether we are clear about what we believe. Also, I was interviewed recently for The Church Renewal Podcast. It ended up being a two-part episode. The first segment, Leading with Courage, dropped last week. Part 2, Leading Through the Anxiety, drops this Thursday, October 16. Let me know what you think. Thanks! Be Careful How You Define Yourself Photo: erik3804 Read on the Blog “Now, with...
9 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader,I'm still on vacation and really enjoying the break. I'll be back next week with a blog post, but for this week it's recommendations only (again). Thanks! Become a Patron You can help me improve the quality and reach of this newsletter, my podcast and other resources for as little as $5/month. When you do, you'll get exclusive access to an online community, exclusive content and chat access to get your questions answered. Thanks for your prayerful consideration. Learn more...
16 days ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader,I've had a heavy travel schedule the last few days, so no post this week, just recommendations. Thanks for understanding. Become a Patron You can help me improve the quality and reach of this newsletter, my podcast and other resources for as little as $5/month. When you do, you'll get exclusive access to an online community, exclusive content and chat access to get your questions answered. Thanks for your prayerful consideration. Learn more Recommendations This week's...
23 days ago • 1 min read
Hi Reader,This week I dug up a post that is a reminder that it's about the journey and not the destination. I hope you find it helpful. Thanks for reading. Are We There, Yet? Photo: travnikovstudio Read on the Blog It’s cliché, but I was one of those kids who asked that question on a long car trip. As I got older, I realized the best way to shorten a trip was to sleep. It was like magic. Go to sleep in one place and be magically transported to another when you awake. Either way, arriving made...
30 days ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader, This week's post addresses the increasing uncertaintly and anxiety in our world. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading. 4 Ways to Focus on What You Can Control, Not What You Can't Photo: enterlinedesign On January 31, 1988, my favorite football team got off to a miserable start in Super Bowl XXII. By the second quarter they were down 10-0. I figured I needed to change their luck, so I put a kitchen chair at the back of my in-laws’ great room and stood on it. It worked. My...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader,This week's post comes in response to a reader question (Thanks, Matt!). I hope you find it helpful. The Problem with Being Right (Revisited) Photo by Robert Kneschke AdobeStock My colleague, Matt, responded to the original post with these questions: How does a self-differentiated parent lead their family? They can’t always let kids, teenagers walk their own path. They need love, guidance and at times a firm voice. This can be perceived as “Mom/Dad’s always got to be right.” Is this...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader,Happy September! We spent nearly the entire month of August with our various grandchildren. This week's post is an update I wrote five years ago. I hope you find it helpful. Intergenerational Transmission Isn't Always Dysfunctional Read on the Blog We tend to think of intergenerational transmission as dysfunctional. Patterns of conflict, addiction and abuse are just a few of the dysfunctions that get passed from generation to generation. But positive patterns get transmitted, as...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader,A quick reminder: we are one week away from my next online workshop, Understanding Family Process. You can get more details and register below. In this week's post, I confess about one of my strengths/weaknesses. I hope you find it helpful. It All Starts with Values Photo: Olivier-Le-Moal Read on the Blog I’m a productivity geek. I’m all about making the most of my time using routines to stay focused on what’s most important. Of course, that’s subjective. For me, spiritual...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader,This week's post highlights some key self-differentiation concepts. I hope you find it helpful. The Problem with Being Right Photo: Pixelvario I like to be right, even to the point of arrogance. I’m not proud of it. I’m working on it. But without self-awareness and intentionality it’s my default mode. I like to be right. One legendary story in our family says it all. Some time ago a friend of our teenage son came to live with us. He didn’t have many options, and we thought it was...
2 months ago • 3 min read