Hi Reader,
​
It's Tuesday! This week's post introduces a concept that might help you navigate the increasing polarization in the world. I hope you find it helpful.

It’s Complicated

​Read on the Blog​

It’s human nature to want to simplify things. We also like certainty. Most of us would prefer things to be black or white but most of life is grey. It’s complicated.

What do we make of the friend or family member whose political views seem insane? Is it possible to love them but disagree with their politics? More importantly, is it possible to understand them in a way that we might hear some truth in what they believe?

Enter the concept of “Integrative Complexity.” This is the ability to account for multiple perspectives and integrate them into our thinking. When we do this, we accept that there can be more than one legitimate way to view an issue. We are also able to find connections between differing perspectives and integrate them into our thinking.

It’s complicated.

But non-anxious leaders strive for integrative complexity in their thinking.

One way to look at it is the difference between either/or and both/and thinking. The former leans toward black and white clarity. The latter understands its complicated and differing viewpoints often bring some element of truth to the table.

The life of a human fetus is sacred AND gender equality means a woman should have the right to decide what to do with her body.

Racism still plagues America AND we’ve made progress in the last 50 years.

The constitution protects the right to own firearms AND the right for government to regulate their sale and ownership.

Now, everybody take a deep breath.

Looking for easy answers to these and many (most?) of life’s difficult issues will not get us very far. Using integrative complexity can.

There are two components to integrative complexity, differentiation and integration.

Differentiation is really self-differentiation. It’s the capacity and willingness to accept the viewpoints of others. It’s the ability to self-define, without needing to define others. It enables us to keep an open mind in a way that we might find some truth in what others believe.

Integration is taking those differing elements of truth and combining them in a way that is more grey than black and white. It’s the ability to hold these truths in tension in a way that avoids the search for simple answers and easy absolutes.

Non-anxious leaders should be able to do this because they are used to holding opposites in tension. They know that self-differentiation requires BOTH self-definition and emotional connection, autonomy and togetherness. Leaders have to be a “self” AND have to stay connected to those they lead.

Integrative complexity is an approach that’s compatible with leadership through self-differentiation. However, there is a downside. It can also lead to indecision, an aversion to risk and a tendency to get bogged down in insignificant details.

One way to address this is to be firm in our belief in a course of action while, at the same time, being willing to admit if we are wrong and need to adjust. Another set of opposites to hold in tension.

I find the only way I have a chance of doing this is through my relationship with God. I ask God to guide my discernment so that I can lead with conviction AND to help me be open to the fact that I might be wrong. I’m not always good at this but it’s what has given me the best chance to lead effectively.

Like I said, it’s complicated.

Recommendations

This week's recommendations will help you manage complicated situations.

​Polarization: What Happened to the Continuum? - thesystemsthinker. This is a great family systems primer on how polarization occurs. Good stuff.

​How to Spread Information Without Spreading Anxiety by Kathleen Smith. This article will help you define self in a healthy way. This is essential to dealing with complicated issues.

Podcast

Episode 356 of The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast, 5 Implications of Child Focus for Families and Leaders, is now available.

That's it for this week. Thanks for reading.

Peace,

Jack

P.S. If you are new to Two for Tuesday, you can read previous editions HERE.

P.P.S. If this was forwarded to you by a friend, you can subscribe here.